I wish I knew.

When I’m stressed I write, so expect a couple of posts over the next few weeks.

“I wish I knew...”   

That’s what I keep thinking to myself.  I wish I knew how this would play out… or how that would work… or what would happen next.  I wish I could just pause time, jump forward a year, two  years at the most and just make sure that all the decisions I am making are good ones.  I know I’m not the only one in this boat.  How many times have we thought if I could just fast forward to that point and then come back? That would make everything so much easier. 

I think for me it’s the fear of the great unknown.  I like the safety of routine.  I know what’s going to happen and how because for the most part it’s what happens every day.  But, when you shake that up things get scary.   

What if I can’t make it work, what if I fall on my face, what if it doesn’t play out like it should?  But… what if it does?

The problem with safety is there is no growth.  Everything goes like it should not because I’m trusting God to come through for me and not because I’m living life to the fullest but because that’s just the way it goes.  God gets no glory and I remain safe, but I remain the same,

 and I do not want to ever remain the same. 

I watched Son of God this weekend and the scene with Peter walking on water really got me thinking.  Would I have gotten out of the boat in the storm?  I mean think about that for a second.  The storm is scary, I’m sure the boat felt like it could flip at any second, and people were probably hanging on for dear life to whatever they could grab.  And Jesus asks Peter not only to let go of the boat, the only thing keeping him afloat, but also to step out into the storm with Him.   The boat may not have felt very safe but it had to feel like the safest option, but that’s not what Jesus was concerned with.  He was concerned with Peter learning to trust HIM and nothing else.  

So, where do I want to be?  Safely tucked in the boat hanging on for dear life or standing on water in the middle of the storm trusting that the One who called me there will always be standing with me.